It Shouldn’t Matter
Okay, here is my new complaint about the single life. Will I actually have to tell guys, “I just want to be friends right now”? Because honestly, the last thing I need is a relationship or even someone to be interested in me, or someone that I am interested in…To put it simply, I need to isolate myself far and away from anything that can be remotely defined as “I like you, do you like me?” type of crap.
last night, I went out to a club, because it was someone’s bday. I knew who the girl was, but I didnt know her personally, I was only invited by a friend because he thought I would bring one of my friends along, whom he is interested in getting to know better. Yes, it has steeped to this level, because of my I-dont-care-how-I’m-treated-I’ll-still-be-your-friend ways. That’s okay, I had fun, that’s what I do best these days, because obviously it isnt school, or job.
anyways, so I ended up dancing with this guy that had been hanging out with me all night, I didnt know he was actually interested in me. needless to say, I’m not looking for anyone, I’m fine by myself, and hopefully it doesnt get to the point where I actually have to tell him that I’m not interested.
and another guy, the guy I had mentioned in a previous post, the one that had ignited the “self-therapy session”? yeah he’s been calling me too, and had I not ran into some friends I havent see for a while, I would have went to meet him, because he was in a nearby club. Had I gone to see him though, I would never have ended up dancing with this guy, maybe that would have gave me less confusion than what I am experiencing right now, but maybe not.
Oh gosh, as if this isn’t enough, a third guy, I don’t know anything more except for the fact that he works at my realty office and that he is planning to go to law school. I don’t even know if he is single or if he finds me attractive. And I don’t plan to get to know him, I merely find him attractive, the first guy I have found attractive since I’ve declared singledom. It just adds to the confusion because I would like him to find me attractive, because then maybe something could come out of it. I’m fantasizing, obviously. Only this time, it’s not like those times back in high school, where you get all tongue-tied when a guy you find attractive talks to you? This time, I talk to him like a confident, grown-up, sophisticated lady. Okay no, not quite like that. But I don’t stumble over words anymore, of course, he’s not the only attractive guy in a world of 6 billion.
And here I was thinking that embracing singledom would be simple.
Leave a Reply