The day it all changed

Three years I was with him. Then, all of a sudden, I was alone and he was telling me that he was planning to meet another girl, a freshmen at that, a blonde, someone he met over an online application. And before he has even met this girl, he was already planning to have her stay over the weekend. That’s desperation. That was when I blocked him and decided to stop trying to be friends.

The reason he is doing this is even more pathetic. He said he wasnt over me, but this girl gave him hope that he wouldn’t be alone. With me, there was no hope. Instead, I gave him a reminder that he is cursed, the reminder that every girl he has gotten close to has gone away, and I was just another example. Yet, I was different, I was the first girl he had been with. In times of crisis however, he thinks only of rescuing himself. With my situation, there is no rescue, I’m doomed to live my life the way it is, I’m the one that’s cursed, he can just walk away from my doom.

This girl gave him hope, hope that he is not a curse. At a time when I was the one in pain, he could only think about himself, his future, his health, and his life. And at the same time, he was telling me that it was my fault? that I pressured him and didn’t give him time to think? So he walks away and finds a new relationship where his life would not be on the line. This is what he called “love”

I thought I was safe with him, but in the end, this disease can’t kill me, because he already did.

~ by icyblueme on December 18, 2008.